Monday, May 20, 2013

Eight days of bliss in Riccione, Italy

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                                                  “Follow your bliss!”- Joseph Campbell

A few weeks back, as I stared at the ceiling of the ambulance, the first real thought that popped into my mind was, “damn, no Italy!”  I have been looking forward to riding in Riccione, Italy for almost three years. 
Back in 2010 or so, Mark Pietrofesa wrote me a note and told me he had found the place to train.  He shared with me that there was a hotel on the Adriatic coast of Italy where the riding was life-changing and that the person who runs the place, Marina, makes it the vacation of a lifetime.  From that email, I made a note to myself that riding in Italy in a situation like Mark described was now officially on my bucket list, a term for life “to do’s”. 
I wasn’t able to make it last year due to work and some other things.  I didn’t think it would happen this year either.  In my role in the navy, I was supposed to be locked down in San Diego for a navy exercise.  With sequestration came the cancellation of that exercise.  I told Teresa that if they really did cancel that thing that she and I better get to Riccione, as these opportunities are precious.  I am so glad we did.
Teresa and I spent 27 hours getting to Riccione, literally using almost every mode of transportation save pack mules to get there.  I knew that it was going to be a good trip when we walked out of the train station and there was one of the cycling guides, Marcus, waiting for us fresh off a ride.  We checked into the hotel and got our bikes dialed in within an hour of arriving.  Mark was already there, standing around in a cycling kit after riding all day.  It was obvious immediately to us that we had come to the Promised Land.
Teresa and I rode every day we were there.  I ended up riding just shy of 700 kilometers, saw a stage of the Giro d’italia, and even swam a little in the afternoons after riding.  We barbequed on mountaintops, dined midday in villages, sipped cappuccinos every 30k or so every single day and ate food that was world class three times a day.  Our days were spent primarily in the saddle riding up steep hills, descending through varied and magnificent open country full of vineyards, open fields, small villages, and so much more.  The joke became “how long until we stop and have espresso at the next castle?”
In the evenings, we ate as a family at the “Pietrofesa party” table there in the hotel.  The staff is so attentive, the food so good and the vibe so nice, there was no real reason to leave the hotel for anything.  We just ate, rode, relaxed and slept.  What an awesome vacation- the best I personally have ever had. 
                                                                  THE CREW 
Mark Pietrofesa.  I met Mark at the race that is now called Oceanside 70.3.  It was called the Ralph’s Half back then.  Mark really helped me in 2009 in Kona with some badly needed encouragement right when I needed it on the run back up the Queen K.  In 2010, we rode within 30 meters of each other the entire bike portion of the race.  Since then Mark and my friendship has grown.  The primary reason for that is Mark is just easy.  He is easy to be around, easy to ride with, easy to talk to- just easy.  His girlfriend, Karlyn Pipes was there with Mark.  I have known Karlyn since I was 21 or so.  She was the lifeguard at the Navy pool in Coronado back in the 80’s where I would train when I was a young enlisted dude.  She and I didn’t really know each other that well back then.  Just the hello you say to the lifeguard as you jump in and out of the pool.  We got to know each other on this trip, and the seed is planted for a long and wonderful friendship, as she is one of the most pleasant and positive people I have ever met.
Zach Poehlman is a friend that I met back in 2005 at Vineman 70.3.  He and I have had the opportunity to train a lot over the years.  He is a navy pilot in his early 30’s and has become a wonderful friend to both T and me.  That friendship continues to flourish.  Zach was accompanied by his wife Jen, an orthopedic surgeon in the navy, who I had met in years prior.  Jen is understated, humble and brilliant.  My favorite thing about her is when she laughs, she laughs with her entire body.  It is a joyful enterprise to share in a laugh with her.
Chris Crosby and I had not met prior to this camp.  He happens to live in Boulder and is a geologist who is a very strong and serious cyclist.  This young guy and I have lots of mountains to climb together in the future.  We got along with his girlfriend Kristie like peas and carrots.
Eric Prime is another navy pilot who I had not met prior to this trip.  He knows his way around a bike and we got to ride a fair amount together during our week in Italy.
Gordo and Monica Byrn have been friends of ours for a few years.  Gordo coached me in 2004 and we have built a friendship over the years that I very much enjoy.  He is wise beyond his years and likes to hash things out through dialogue.  Although quite different in many ways, he and I see a lot of the world through the same lens, so the contrast between us both is fun to discuss over a meal.  He is also a former pro triathlete who can really wind it up proper when motivated to do so.  Monica is also a former pro and is the best swim coach in Boulder.  She is fun to hang out with and I look forward to every opportunity to do just that.
Scott Molina is the most decorated triathlete in our sport.  He was one of the original four giants (they call them The Big Four) that actually put our sport on the map close to 30 years ago.  He dominated triathlon through the 80’s and is respected by everyone who ever raced against him or has trained with him.  On top of his athletic accomplishments, he is a sage who peels the onion as fast as anyone I have ever met.  I have never had a boring or superficial conversation with him.  He gets right to it.  He coached me in 2006 to the Military World Championships and to my personal best in Kona the same year.  I hold him in very high regard.
There were a few others from England, Norway and Long Island that were there to train with the crew and I very much enjoyed getting to know them as well. 
      BIKE CRASHES SUCK
This year had been challenging for me almost all the way back to Kona last October.  I had a nasty hamstring pull that forced me to not run a good portion of the winter.  I was thinking that I was making solid strides in my fitness right up until my crash a few weeks ago.  In early April, I was out training by myself.  I was doing some harder efforts and was barreling down a country road north of Boulder where we all ride when I got loose in some sand.  As I tried to sit up on my triathlon bike and get my hands back on my handlebars to navigate through the sand, the back of my glove caught my brake hood and with my weight very forward of the bike I more or less lost my balance and then hit a guard rail doing 30mph or so.  I impacted right under my right arm taking the full blow in my rib cage.  I heard bones break and felt them crunching from the inside, so I knew before I even hit the pavement that I had broken my ribs or my back.  I was blessed with the first responders who showed up to take care of me within minutes of lying on the ground.  A couple of Hispanic farmers rushed over and helped disentangle me from my broken bike and helped me to wrestle my heart rate monitor from around my ribs as I was really struggling to breath and was immobile for the most part.  The ambulance and fire department showed up very soon after that and before I knew it I was on a backboard in the back of an ambulance on my way to the hospital.  I am not much for drama, so I will just say it has been a pretty rough cut 5 or so weeks since the injury with the persistent and enduring thought that my racing life might be over. 
I was so excited to be going to Riccione to train with Mark, Zach, Gordo and Molina.  I have trained with all of them before and love to be in a bike pack with those boys.  They are all crazy fit and tough, but they are also extremely kind and mature athletes.  There is no bullshit with those guys.  You just train.  Not much chatter, not much flash, just train.  Molina and Gordo are famous within the hard core side of our ironman community for a number of sayings, with one of the most famous being “JFT”, which stands for “Just Fucking Train.”  There is simplicity and beauty in that statement.  With these guys, they live it. 
After the crash, I shared with T that the most costly aspect of my being hurt was not that my racing season is most likely over; it was that I would not be able to train with these guys in Italy.  I got off the train in Riccione not expecting to be able to ride with the boys at all.  I had only ridden three or so times in the previous week just to prove that I could stay upright in the saddle and would be safe to ride outside and not on the trainer.  Mark (we call him Petro) told me the night I arrived that he didn’t care how slow I rode that we were going to ride together.  That, alone, was probably the most encouraging thing I had heard since I got hurt.  I was nervous, but quietly psyched! 
There is so much that I could write about regarding the content of each of the 100-140k rides we did last week.  I will just say that for me, I was in the back of the pack or slightly off the back most of the time-and so happy to be there riding with my friends.  I suffered pretty much the entire way due to the atrophy in my fitness and overall physical weakness, but I loved it.  The first couple of days were really rugged, as I rode literally as hard as I could ride just to stay with the boys.  Sure, I will admit, that I bled from the eyes and genuinely wondered everyday if I would be able to do the entire ride.  I am ok with those types of challenges.  It is fine to wonder if you have bitten off too much each day.  I was extremely fortunate that in a couple of times when I thought I had reached my absolute breaking point, a guardian angel would show up. 
The first time I thought I was going to crack wide open and have to stop was on the second ride.  We had started off right after clipping in to immediately starting the ride at 36kph.  It stayed that way for about the first 80 minutes.  Somebody in the pack mentioned that his power meter showed a normalized power of 280 watts for those 80 minutes.  When we went up hill, we went fast uphill.  After half a day of this, our guide Felice (a former Giro d’italia stage winner, who is a lovely man) led us up a very steep extended 8k climb.  I am not good at percentage of climbs, but guys were using words like 15-20%.  About half way up, I seriously thought my legs were going to seize and I would just stop. 
Due to my injury, I don’t have any intercostals strength yet in my upper body, so I could not stand to climb.  I had to just grind my way up while staying seated.  I am obviously exaggerating when I say “bleed from the eyes”, but not by much.  Anyone who has ever really suffered on the bike can relate when you get what I call the “puffy eye” effort.  Your eyes just feel like they are going to pop out and onto your cheeks because you are working so hard.  Right about then Gordo came cruising back down the descent and jumped in front of me and paced me up the mountain nice and easy, but purposeful.  It was exactly what I needed-just a back wheel to look at and to have as a target to stay focused in order to keep moving uphill.  Mark did that a couple of times last week and Molina got me through a ride I seriously thought I was going to have to quit later in the week.  It is the surges or the erratic standing climbs less experienced riders do in front of you that can wreck you when you are “creaking”, a term I use when an eyelash away from “cracking”.  Those steady and smooth pulls rescued me and would be just enough for me to get my shit together and ride solid again.  I found solace in that I got stronger every day and found some fitness by the end of the week.  After a long, hard slog up a mountain, Molina would turn around and yell “find some fitness yet, Jonser?!”  I would tell him that it takes a long time to get good and there is no easy way!  The joke there is that is a famous quote from Molina that Gordo published in his book “Going Long”. 
So that was the week of riding in Italy for me.  Hard, long climbs and surviving the occasional 40-50kph pain train back to town and steep exhilarating winding descents through the Italian countryside only to stop for the best espresso in the world and donuts purchased by Petro to get Jonser home!  If the boys would not have been there for me, I would have not been able to ride that terrain at those speeds.  I am in their debt.
  WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT FOR ALMOST 20 HOURS IN THE SADDLE?  IDENTITY.
When I was still pinned to the couch high on vicodin, I was having a heart to heart chat with my dear friend Brandon.  Brandon is a former track star at UCLA, a former pro triathlete and has been a close friend since we met when he was 30 at a triathlon camp back in 06.  Brandon has moments of clarity that I have come to trust.  I was sharing with him that day that I was worried that I might never fully recover and scared that I won’t race ironman anymore.  Brandon (known as Brando or BDC) said quickly off the cuff that my role as an athlete was probably the least I have to offer the world.  At first it stung, as what I heard was that I was not a good enough athlete for it to matter if I ever raced again.  After a few hundred miles to think about it, that is not what BDC was talking about.  What he was saying was actually a compliment.  He was simply stating that I have a lot to offer the world and most likely that my being an athlete is not that big of a contribution compared to other endeavors in which I am currently engaged.
I talked to Gordo about this a lot this week over coffee and nutella.  I shared with him the statement BDC made.  He saw it a different way.  He agrees that role as an athlete ain’t curing cancer, but it does set an example and that in itself has value.  So I chewed on that for a few k’s of climbing. 
I think what this all gets down to based on heart to hearts with Karlyn, Petro, G, Molina, Zach and of course, the best friend I have ever had in my life- T, is that it comes down to our perception of identity.  Specifically, how do we perceive our own identity?  I asked someone this week what was his goal in life.  What is his identity?  He didn’t even hesitate.  He matter of factly and confidently stated that his goal in life was to be the man his wife needs him to be.  I can tell he has really spent time thinking about it, as the answer was right there for him.
I have to admit that at 48, I am not that resolute.  I wish I were.  I wish I could just blurt out ice cold what I perceive my identity to be.  It is easy for me to answer questions like what do I stand for, but not as quick with what is my identity.  That is not to be confused with the statement that I don’t know who I am.  I, of course, know that one.  I am the son of Maxine, the brother of Chris and Eric, the father of Ben, the Pop of Allison, the grandfather of my unborn granddaughter Tigerlilly, and obviously the husband of Teresa.   They are my priorities, along with my faith.  That is the easy stuff.  I put them first and it is black and white.
Identity is different.  What is your identity?  Is it your rank?  Is it your reputation in your sport?  Your community?  Your church?  Your gym?  The letters after your name based on how long you went to school?  Your looks?  Who you are married to?  Your world ranking/records?  How much flight time you have?  How your friends perceive you?  Your mistakes?  Your achievements personal and professional?  Your income?  Your possessions?  Your lack of possessions?
It is a solid question.  I am still rolling this one around in my grape.  I think sometimes the hardest part to finding an answer is to discover and truly understand the question.  I wonder aloud if this is the reason I had the crash.  Obviously, the simple answer to why there was a crash is because Jonser needs to learn to ride his bike better, but along the way maybe this is the question I am supposed to be working on right here, right now.
I plan to keep working hard on this question as soon as I get home.  I think I will go for a ride and try to sort it out.
Peace,
Jonser

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